arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
