never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
