when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
