Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think my fart just growled at me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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