Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drunk is not a location!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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