You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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