Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
