saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
