Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
