Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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