I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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