What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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