Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
