So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
