i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
