He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
