ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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