and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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