Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
