well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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