1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
