he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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