what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
