He had one of those small greek statue penises
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
