He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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