I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
