I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
