Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
