their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
