Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't deserve a penis
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
