True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
