Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
