I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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