that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
