Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
