woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
