I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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