I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
