if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
