who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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