hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
