Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.

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(410): View more from Maryland

He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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(903): View more from Texas

Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.

Fav 4 1530 707
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.

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(239): View more from Florida

We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed

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