okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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