She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
