Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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