As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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