smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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