I'm eating all of the evidence.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
