this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
