I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we're making bets on your personal life
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club đ
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
